Writing Helps Me

Dealing with the tremendous loss of my niece has had so many emotions swirling around my head. I was in such despair of Shannon's murder that all I wanted to do was go where she was, so I could watch over my daddy, my nephew Sam and Shannon. I knew all I had to do was just not take my heart medication and the pain would be over soon. I would not have to worry about this world and all the bad things in it. I had to get out of that head space, GOD gave me a second chance in more ways than one. I had to tell Shannon's story. From not just my own perspective, but from the people around her who were willing to share their stories with me. I owed her that to finish what I started for her.
As hurt as I am, this is NOT MY LIFE, GOD gave it to me and it is HIS WILL and time frame that he will call me home. I re-read the most beautiful and touching letter from a young woman who did not have much time with Shannon, but she loved her enough for this lifetime and she promised to see her in the next one.
I hope I have done enough good in this one to get to the next lifetime.

I think that I may have to go back through my archives and re-read the seven stages of grieving again to pull myself out of this emotional wreckage. I know my grief will never be able to match what my sister is going through, but when you have a hand in raising children the loss of them still feels the same.