Love and Heart Failure
Dating has always been sort of an enigma to me. I like being in a relationship, but I also like being alone and these two things are often in conflict with one another. As you well know the man that I have been in love with for a very long time, we just can't seem to make it work without past hurts cropping up.
We each are holding on to it because to let go of it would mean to call a truce on a near twenty year bitterness. We both harbor resentment with each other. I am willing to talk about it in great detail, but he is a very unforgiving man. I think part of the reason is that he has never apologized for anything he has ever done to a woman in his life.
There is always a justification for the bad deed, and he always has a way of making a woman apologize for making him be bad. Yes it is a form of manipulation, and he is a master at that. But when does holding on to a past bad act become so toxic that once it's spread to everything you do there is simply no recovery?
I have tried unsuccessfully to date other men, but it's not working because there will always be him in the background.
It was up to me to re-draw the boundary lines between us. I had to try and I will keep trying to wean myself off of him until it no longer matters to me what he does.
We each are holding on to it because to let go of it would mean to call a truce on a near twenty year bitterness. We both harbor resentment with each other. I am willing to talk about it in great detail, but he is a very unforgiving man. I think part of the reason is that he has never apologized for anything he has ever done to a woman in his life.
There is always a justification for the bad deed, and he always has a way of making a woman apologize for making him be bad. Yes it is a form of manipulation, and he is a master at that. But when does holding on to a past bad act become so toxic that once it's spread to everything you do there is simply no recovery?
I have tried unsuccessfully to date other men, but it's not working because there will always be him in the background.
It was up to me to re-draw the boundary lines between us. I had to try and I will keep trying to wean myself off of him until it no longer matters to me what he does.
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