Caught Up In A Wind

There's a lot of pain behind that soft smile of mine. Today was a very difficult day. My anxiety got the better of me and I was caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. Dr. Ellis is my new primary care physician. I think I will be able to build a good rapport with her if I could just get my nerves out of the equation. She has done nothing to me, but my fear of her is very real to me. I have to see a hematologist, and doctor for my rheumatoid arthritis my thyroid needs to be checked. She also is going to make sure that I get my C-pap machine for my sleep apnea. She says this may help with my heart failure as well. None of the other doctors I saw have even remotely mentioned that if my sleep apnea was treated that it may help my heart function better. I think today I was just on information overload and having my cycle today definitely did not help matters any. I hope having to see all of these specialist that it won't derail my plans, but then again people make plans and God just laughs.