The Face of Heart Failure

In twenty-four hours my hysterectomy surgery will take place. I finally had a mini-meltdown about all the emotions that had been swirling around in my head. I have female cousins who have had this procedure done due to heavy menstrual bleeding, but this is my journey and truly I wished that I had not waited so long to get this done. When you keep running from something eventually you end of running right back into the very thing that you feared the most. I did not want to be known as a broken woman who could not have children of my own. My plan and God's plan were not the same, but He knew what was best for his child and that was to do this procedure. I keep trying to stress to women especially African-American women to keep up with their annual check-ups to avoid issues like this or things can be caught earlier enough so that preventative measures can be taken. I am truly blessed with an amazing set of doctors in my corner and I also have an amazing support system. In twenty

FOR NEARLY FORTY-NINE YEARS SHE HAS BEEN WITH ME, JUST HANGING OUT DOING HER THING. WHILE I WAS DOING MY OWN THING, SOPHIA WAS GETTING SICKER AND SICKER AND I HAD NOT ONE IDEA OF HOW SICK SHE ACTUALLY WAS. I STARTED THE JOURNEY TO "WOMANHOOD" AT THE AGE OF NINE YEARS OLD. HERE I WAS A BABY AND NOW BIOLOGICALLY I WAS CAPABLE OF HAVING A BABY. LET ME TELL YOU HONESTLY, ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE A MOTHER, BUT GOD KNEW WHAT WAS UPON THE HORIZON FOR ME. I STARTED ABUSING MY TEMPLE AT AN EARLY AGE BECAUSE I COULD NOT BRING MYSELF TO TALK ABOUT THE ABUSE I SUFFERED AT THE HANDS OF THE DEACON IN MY GOD-MOTHER'S CHURCH. FOOD BECAME A PLACE OF COMFORT FOR ME AS WELL AS DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. BY THE TIME I WAS SIXTEEN YEARS OLD I STARTED SMOKING AGAIN AND DRINKING, ALL THE WHILE SKIPPING SCHOOL TO WORK TO SUPPORT MY SECRET HABIT. MOST PEOPLE NEVER KNEW I SMOKED BECAUSE I WAS SO GOOD AT HIDING THINGS AND KEEPING MY VICES TO MYSELF. THE MOST DEVASTATING THING TO HEAR WHEN YOU ARE

My oncologist is the absolute best. She really talks to me straight no chaser, and she asks me my opinion about my healthcare. We have decided that the best course of action would be to do a total hysterectomy to get out in front of the precursor to having cancer since the pathology report came back. I truly am very optimistic that I am in very capable hands which is why God sent me to her. It was a rough start just to get to see her with my medical transport becoming a nightmare just canceling and rescheduling appointments left and right. My surgery is in exactly twenty days. There are two people that I need to see and speak with but have no way to reach them. At any rate, I am ready for the preemptive strike.