The Face of Heart Failure

Til Death, Us Do Part.....In Sickness and Health.....For Richer, For Poorer.....Forsaking All Others......This is the most powerful statements you can utter to another person. To stand up and make a declaration to another person that you( vow), a sacred promise to them that you will love and care for them when the going gets rough, when your struggles together threaten the very foundation you two have built together, for any person to thrive in this world each of us needs to feel safe and secure in our surroundings. Oftentimes we fall short of the expectations we have about our significant other. This person is sharing your air and your space and time with the person you have vowed to love for life.....that's deep and both depressing as well as profound in the sense that you come in this world by your self, but we as humans need that interaction we thrive the most when we feel love and comfort, some of us have become so desensitized that we withhold our love and affections from tho...

As he lays there beside me silently sleeping, I think to myself why am I still here in this marriage. It’s not like I get excited to see him when he comes home or I’m genuinely happy to see him. To be quite honest my husband doesn’t do it for me. Never has and probably never will. He just seems content with his life now the way that it is. I know deep down I settled because the one I truly wanted doesn’t want me in that way, but it doesn’t stop my longing for something much more meaningful than I am getting. I want a true partner who will not only excite me but will push me and challenge me to be better, not make me feel like I’m raising him. As it stands I feel nothing, but I have gotten real good at pretending . Something has got to change.

My beloved younger sister was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. We as a family are devastated. She is literally in for the fight of her life.  This is where she will have to tap into her reserved strength to get through this battle. I pray for healing and a renewed sense of purpose for my sister. I am going to be there for her every step of the way.

My husband and my sister and I are moving into our new apartment in a few weeks. It's been a long two years since I was put on the waiting list. We got prequalified to get the place and we did it with all three of us. So there is is no need to hide or worry about nosey neighbors reporting us to having too many people in a 1 bedroom. I am just grateful to God that we can be out in the open now and get back to being a family unit. I am also praying for a positive outcome for my sister Sandra who may have to have a hysterectomy in the near future. I am going to delay my shoulder surgery because we can't both be out of commission at the same time and I just don't trust my husband to pick up the slack without me telling him too. It would also mean giving him access to my account and I am not doing that. What I want us to do is to get a household checking account where we only use it to pay our rent lights and water from it only. I will talk to them about that. I have enough peop...

We got the approval for the new apartment. Now the real work begins.

Took the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Learned so much that I want to start implementing in my life. For starters, I need to clean up my space and clear out the clutter out of my life. I also need to reclaim a space just for me and no one else. Now getting my husband to understand that it's what I need so I don't feel so closed in and closed off because nothing is my own anymore. I know when you get married you have to share your space, I just wish we had more space to work with then everyone can spread out and not be on top of each other.

Not really sure how this new job is going. There's no permanent staff to train me on the 3rd shift. I am the only one. The other people here work via the agency so in order for me to actually train I have to just wait for the other young lady to come back and show me what to do. They make last rounds at 5-5:30 so maybe I will done some gloves and go with them as they work because me just sitting here with nothing to do is not the look.