The Face of Heart Failure

Finally got to see my Bariactric Surgeon Dr. Stelios Rekkas. He gave me my surgery date for my vertical sleeve gastrectomy. I am over the moon about meeting all of my clearances with my other doctors. I really haven't talked to much about my surgery to my oldest sister because she's not on board with me doing the procedure. I have to do this for me to have a better quality of life for myself. This will be life changing for me and I am so ready for it to happen. I want to bump up my strength training to minimize the loose skin. I need to also get me some Palmer's cocoa butter to help with stretch marks. I am looking forward to watching my body change for the better. HW:363 PreSurgery:340 Goal Weight: 140

I am on my third marriage, twice with my second husband. I honestly don't know if I am cut out to be a wife. I don't know at times if I want to becmarried to him or anyone for that matter. I know marriage is all about compromise, but he's not giving me the space I need to sort things out. He asked me when he could come back home and my response to him was we need counseling. I think he feels as if he rushes through this the faster he can get back to driving that car and being back in my life on a permanent basis. I know him well enough to know he is very persistent, but I won't be rushed into making this decision with him hell-hacking me about it. If he doesn't gives me the space I need I am unsure if I can continue in this marriage. I got my divorce packet while he was with me and it felt surreal that I'm faced with the possibility of yet another divorce. Hopefully my individual counseling will give me more clarity.

We have not been married 90 days and trouble is lurking. He's reverting to his old ways and I'm shutting down emotionally. Tommy and I seem to just be existing in this marriage. I don't feel appreciated. I honestly don't know why he asked me to marry him again and part of me is starting to feel like I made a mistake in remarrying him.

Sitting here with my thoughts. There's a lot of them too. I should be sleeping, but I went so early that now I can't seem to settle back down. My husband on the other hand, can fall asleep just like that. Started my liquid diet Sunday and ended up eating 5 olives because I just wanted something savory. I know why I have to do the liquid diet it's to prep my liver so it shrinks so they can see my stomach better, but that doesn't mean it's not a little challenging. I just wish some people would stop trying to convince me not to do the surgery. They've offered their advice, but this is my life I'm trying to save. I need them to support my discision not try and derail it by trying to change my mind. They're not carrying 200 plus extra pounds on their bodies. They don't have to use assistive devices just to help them breath or sleep. Getting help with lising the weight could very well prolong my life. I know the 200 aren't going to drop off magically,...

I began my road to wellness on my late niece's birthday. It was what I needed to do for me. I vame to Dr. Stelio Rekkas for help. He is a bariactric weight loss surgeon. I started the process of getting the surgery to help me lose and keep the weight off. Two of the people that are closest to me don't want me to have the procedure done because once I do it it cannot be undone. I told my husband yesterday that I needed his help and to stop bringing certain items in the house. I'm just trying to do what I can to be the best version of myself that I can be. It is in this moment that I have to be selfish and choose me this time. Nobody but me can make this change concerning my life and well-being.

Sex should be pleasurable. I for one am sexually stunted. There's no intamacy and he's too rough in his lovemaking. I don't enjoy it 80% of the time. I have told him that at times he is too rough with me, but that seems to go in one ear and out the other. Sexual chemistry is a vital component to any healthy marriage, this lackluster performance leaves much to be desired. What I'm missing is passion and genuine desire, not simply him getting off and I am lying back and thinking of England.

I started my new weight loss journey on what would have been my niece's 31st birthday. Ny resolve to have VSG a vertical sleeve gastronomy is my way of trying to prolong my life. There are steps I have to take furst before Dr. Rekkas will agree to do my surgery. He has given me a task oflosing 60 pounds on ny own first as a requirement from Medicare. I won't lie, it feels like a daunting task because I don't yet know the prioer way to portion control my foods. Then I also have to worry about my trigger foods. I can only control what I put in my mouth, but it sure would be nice if we all were on the same page in the house.