The Face of Heart Failure

Finally went to see my GYN for the first time since coming out of the hospital back in December. As per usual, I went to pieces with the doctor. It was like all of the emotions I had bottled up inside me came rushing out of me in one big wave crashing against huge rocks. I tried really hard to keep my composure with Dr. King, but I needed to talk about all of the things I could never speak to anyone else about other than my sister Sandra. My older sister was supposed to be there, she never showed up. It was crushing to say the very least. I was already on edge with my new diagnosis of CKD and not being told about it while I was in the emergency room to them admitting me into the ICU. Dr. King was actually phenomenal, it was me who had totally gone off the rails. Avoiding a situation for years does not mean it's not happening to you. I kept putting off going to see a GYN until I nearly died from the blood loss. Not only that I have to also deal with this contentious divorce from

If you have ever watched the Wizard of Oz  you will remember when they finally got to see the Wizard and found out he was a fraud and that what they needed was within them all along. Being overly curious to find out things can lead you to a situation that can really impact your life, and most certainly not for the better. This is why you should never look behind the curtain.

Soon I will be going in for my biopsy. I will also discuss having the hysterectomy with my OBGYN who will also be my surgeon. I need to stop watching those videos on YouTube about the procedure because those women's experience will not be my experience. I just pray that God guides my surgeon's hand and I come out of this okay. I have truly made peace with not having children naturally, but rest assured, there is some child or children who need me to be their mommy.