June Clever Life
Since being on all of the medications, I don't feel the desire of any kind to be intimate with a man. For me, that is a good thing I guess. I have been married to my second husband for all of a year and thirteen months and out of those thirteen months, we have lived separately.
I have not made the best choices when it has come to be in a relationship. I tend to dive in head first and then pull back when I see a man behaving the way another one did. If I truly stop to look at all of it from an unbiased point of view that the common thread in each of the relationships was me.
I dated the same person over and over trying to see if they would become the person I truly wanted to be with. It's like finally getting to meet your favorite actor or actress only to discover that they aren't so great in real life.
I seem to attract the type of men who always wanted to "lock" me down early on and that seems to lead to disaster later on. I have the tendency to have the feeling of being smothered and not wanting the man to be in my personal space all the time.
This is truly why I think I am a 1950's housewife. I have no problems with a husband and wife having separate bedrooms, this may be the key to why some couples have been able to stay together for fifty or sixty years. Since I have no desire for sex I think it is better for me not to be married. My husband isn't the right man for me and I knew full well who he was. with that being said, I am not the right woman for him. In my honest opinion, my husband had pursued me for thirty-two years off and on so, when I finally gave in and agreed to marry him, I knew deep down that I was making a choice, not a mistake mind you, but a choice to look behind the curtain and what I saw I did not like.
This is truly a cautionary tale about being careful about what you wish for. To love honor and cherish forsaking all others, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health is really not be taken lightly and should not be said if you truly don't mean them. I look back at my wedding photo only see my expression of being happier to be in the picture with my sister than my own husband.
I always wanted that "June Clever" life, but that too eluded me. When you are a kid all you see on the television show is the finished product and not what it took to make the show. It is put together after being shout "shot out of sequence" real life is not spliced together, it's a tapestry woven together to become cohesive. Making life altering decisions when I have gone off my medication by running out of it and then having to undo what I did. Is still a test that I have been re-taking over and over because I have not learned the lesson yet.
Susan
I have not made the best choices when it has come to be in a relationship. I tend to dive in head first and then pull back when I see a man behaving the way another one did. If I truly stop to look at all of it from an unbiased point of view that the common thread in each of the relationships was me.
I dated the same person over and over trying to see if they would become the person I truly wanted to be with. It's like finally getting to meet your favorite actor or actress only to discover that they aren't so great in real life.
I seem to attract the type of men who always wanted to "lock" me down early on and that seems to lead to disaster later on. I have the tendency to have the feeling of being smothered and not wanting the man to be in my personal space all the time.
This is truly why I think I am a 1950's housewife. I have no problems with a husband and wife having separate bedrooms, this may be the key to why some couples have been able to stay together for fifty or sixty years. Since I have no desire for sex I think it is better for me not to be married. My husband isn't the right man for me and I knew full well who he was. with that being said, I am not the right woman for him. In my honest opinion, my husband had pursued me for thirty-two years off and on so, when I finally gave in and agreed to marry him, I knew deep down that I was making a choice, not a mistake mind you, but a choice to look behind the curtain and what I saw I did not like.
This is truly a cautionary tale about being careful about what you wish for. To love honor and cherish forsaking all others, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health is really not be taken lightly and should not be said if you truly don't mean them. I look back at my wedding photo only see my expression of being happier to be in the picture with my sister than my own husband.
I always wanted that "June Clever" life, but that too eluded me. When you are a kid all you see on the television show is the finished product and not what it took to make the show. It is put together after being shout "shot out of sequence" real life is not spliced together, it's a tapestry woven together to become cohesive. Making life altering decisions when I have gone off my medication by running out of it and then having to undo what I did. Is still a test that I have been re-taking over and over because I have not learned the lesson yet.
Susan
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