Feeling Nothing

As he lays there beside me silently sleeping, I think to myself why am I still here in this marriage. It’s not like I get excited to see him when he comes home or I’m genuinely happy to see him. To be quite honest my husband doesn’t do it for me. Never has and probably never will. He just seems content with his life now the way that it is. I know deep down I settled because the one I truly wanted doesn’t want me in that way, but it doesn’t stop my longing for something much more meaningful than I am getting. I want a true partner who will not only excite me but will push me and challenge me to be better, not make me feel like I’m raising him. As it stands I feel nothing, but I have gotten real good at pretending . Something has got to change.

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