I Ain't Mad at You No More

For three years I suffered in silence. I smiled and grinned and bared it and still continued to see you, even though I knew what you had done to me, and I know you had to know because that's what you do. What I got for my pain was to become a statistic, that was the price of loving you. Everything we did in secret will now be my cross to bear. I felt dirty for years would not allow another to embrace me because you had imprinted on me for good. I would never belong to another, because you made sure that I would always belong to you. How dare you abuse the gift of love that I gave you, how dare you dangle your love in front of me only to snatch it away. I never would confront you because of what happened because you would find a way to blame me for it. But in those three years I learned what I wanted more than anything and that was God's forgiveness; so I had to forgive YOU for myself. I no longer carry the burden or the shame. No matter what you tried to do even when you said you didn't know what it was you were doing to make women do for you I knew was a lie. All you know how to do is lie. You punished me when YOU had no right to. You made me feel dirty and unworthy and that's because I ALLOWED you to. YOU have never given and accounting for the wrong you have done, but I am calling you out on your bullsh%^&. This time you don't get to win. I took back the love I gave you and I am giving it to the one that deserves it more, ME.....and next to God I AM THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME. I just wanted to say I ain't mad at you no more.